Becareful what you spy for!

58

By sassydee

agonizing

See all 5 photos

is it worth the time and effort

Sometimes I don’t understand why some are determined to find out whether or not their mates are cheating and/or liars, especially the ones who knew exactly the way they were before they got together because they were best friends at first! Is it really worth the time and effort?

Today it is so simple to find out whether or not our mates are deceiving! People don’t even have to pay a lot of money for private investigators or spy equipment to do it themselves. Now and days there’s reality shows like Cheaters, technology (software) that can track what someone does on their computers, and free applications to download on someone’s cell phone that can track their exact location.

As I was browsing through Hubs I came across a forum that asked, “With today’s new technology that enable parents to know what their kids are doing on their phones and computers and even track them down (basically spy on their kids) would you consider that to be good parenting”? As I was reading the comments to this forum post, one person stated in her comment that, “unfortunately the kids weren’t the ones who got caught doing anything wrong but her now ex-husband did”. Well this reminded me of one of my friends and a few of my family members.


I remember how these persons would stress out trying to find out where their significant others were at and who they were with and so on. I admit that a few of them did have good instinct and were right but, when the truth came out it made no difference they still stood with them. If anything it made their relationship worse because there was now evidence and by them staying with the deceitful ones was like, saying “it’s okay if you lied to me or cheated because I am still with you and if you do it again it wouldn’t matter because I’ll probably still be with you”! If that didn’t happen then there was even more craziness going on because out of the blue one look or one comment triggered, “I wonder what or who you did today because it sure wasn’t me or who are texting blah, blah, and blah! Rarely did the ones who were being mislead ever said, “that’s it I’m out of here or to the left, to the left all your stuff is there not get the @!#$ out of here”! Even more so it didn’t end there with, you cheated on me now what and the one cheating saying sorry and never actually do it again. So I ask this was it even worth the time and effort, for those who didn’t end it or put a stop to it?



Overall wouldn’t it be wiser to just know it and not say anything about it if an individual is going to end up staying with that person. Shouldn’t you just enjoy the time you are with them literally instead of agonizing over something that’s not going change or end; until or unless you are really going to end it with the liar and cheater. Actually it would be wise to not even be with someone you don’t trust or believe but some can only learn from life lessons (mistakes).



Note: I have to admit that I too, was in this situation before and it isn’t healthy at all and this is why I had to create a Hub about it!


now what?

POLL

Would you end the relationship if you had proof that you were being mislead?

  • Yes
  • No
  • Don't know
See results without voting

Accusing and unhappy

Comments

BugGop MSlt profile image

BugGop MSlt 2 months ago

hi

hi

JeniferD profile image

JeniferD Level 1 Commenter 3 months ago

sassydee, I can speak from experience that if one remains in a relationship with an unfaithful mate, that speaks volumes about your self-worth. I've ditched more boyfriends for being unfaithful than I care to remember, and what's worse is that some of them came looking for me ten, twenty years after the break-up hoping to get back with me (after a few failed marriages and several children). Know what you're worth, and remember it next time your man cheats on you. You're better than that, and entitled to know these things, your physical/sexual health may depend on that information. ;-)

sassydee profile image

sassydee Hub Author 3 months ago

thank you alastar

Alastar Packer profile image

Alastar Packer Level 8 Commenter 3 months ago

Sassydee I like this hub and the way you've done it. Congrats on your high score too, that says a good deal especially for the amount of time you've been a HubPages member. Quite interesting story here and your philosophy is spot on in my opinion. I'll just say that if a person has to spy on their partner regardless of whats really going on somethings terribly wrong with the relationship to start with.

sassydee profile image

sassydee Hub Author 3 months ago

i agree too

sassydee profile image

sassydee Hub Author 3 months ago

yes and hopefully the lazy people become stong if or when they experience somehthing like this

aisha91 profile image

aisha91 Level 2 Commenter 3 months ago

I agree with express 10, relationship suppose to be make someone secure, happy and whole and not the opposites.

Express10 profile image

Express10 Level 6 Commenter 3 months ago

Interesting hub. Considering the fact that many people will either cheat or be cheated on at some point in their life, we can see how spying on others has become big business. I think spying is the lazy person's way. Talking about it, making your expectations known is the strong person's way of dealing with cheating. I have always believed that if you don't or can't trust them, you don't need to be in a relationship with them.

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